Our Gemara discusses the ancient Jewish custom of eating garlic Friday night in order to enhance fertility, as it is a Mitzvah Friday night in particular to be intimate (See Ritva).

By the way, there is corroborating scientific evidence that Garlic positively affects virility, and in particular cooked garlic. (See Bahrami KH, Mahjor AA, Johary H, Bahrami R, Bahrami A. Comparative study on histopatological and histomorphometric effect of raw and cooked garlic on spermatogenesis in testis and epidydims of rats. J Fasa Univ Med Sci. 2014;3(4):371-9.) It is interesting because about 35 years ago, I saw a letter from the Steipler where he meticulously described the proper way to prepare garlic as a fertility segulah. I remember (but I can’t find the Sefer now) where he made a point that there is a mesorah on how to prepare the garlic, and was makpid on it being cooked in a certain manner.

Regardless, we see that intimacy on Friday night is a special mitzvah. In fact, Rambam (Shabbos 30:14) says that it is part of the “delights of Shabbos” Oneg Shabbos. The idea that sexual pleasure is part of Oneg Shabbos can have halakhic implications as well, and I will share with you a chiddush of my own related to this.

We know that there are many levels of sexual practices within a marriage, as described in detail in Nedarim 20b. In Shulkhan Arukh (EH 25), after enumerating a strict list of modesty requirements regarding sexual positions and practices, the Rama paskens that one may engage with his wife in any practice that he wishes, with the proviso that seed is not intentionally wasted. That is, ejaculation occurs through intercourse. Despite this being the letter of the law, Rama encourages voluntary abstention from indulgent hedonism, and modesty practices in order to

imbue the relationship with holiness. The guidelines are not clear, dare I say, even deliberately confusing in order to encourage each person to wrestle with the tension between holiness, modesty and normal human sexual needs. However, this ambiguity also can lead to excessive guilt, which can cause sexual dysfunction, as anxiety interferes with the arousal process. Chazal wee also aware that anxiety is disruptive in marital relations, as demonstrated by the Talmudic concept of לבו נוקפו “his heart pierces him“ (see Niddah 12a and 65b). Based on the idea of oneg Shabbos, I will share a possible legitimate rationale for loosening modesty restrictions on Shabbos.

In times past, much more attention was paid to protocol and manners when eating, and there are numerous halachos regarding proper form and behavior during a meal. Similar to the way we practice on Shabbos, even during the week one person would recite the blessing over bread and pass out the bread to everyone. Ordinarily, there is a rule that one should not break off too small a piece in order to not appear miserly, however, he should not break off too large of piece in order not to appear gluttonous. Yet, in honor of Shabbos and to show love of the Mitzvah, it is considered proper to break off a large piece at the Shabbos Seudah. (See Shulkhan Arukh OC 167:1, Rama ibid 20, and Mishna Berurah 12.)

We see from here, but when there is also a mitzvah attached to the enjoyment, it is not considered unseemly nor hedonistic to indulge, and “break off a larger piece“. Using this Talmudic logic, since it is a special mitzvah to engage in marital relations on Shabbos night, doing what is more physically enjoyable which ordinarily would be hedonistic, ought be permitted.



Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation cool

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