Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the six cities of refuge designated for the person who commits involuntary manslaughter. These cities functioned as a form of exile and punishment because there was negligence involved, but also as a protection from a relative who might kill him in retribution. This is why the cities’ names have an implication of refuge, with the literal translation of Arei Miklat being “cities of being gathered in.”
The Sefer Hachinuch in his introduction says there are six constant mitzvos which correspond to the cities of refuge. These six mitzvos act as a personal, portable sanctuary in the challenges of life. The six mitzvos are:
- To believe in God
- To not believe in anything besides Him
- To conceive of His oneness
- To love Him
- To fear Him
- To not wander after the thought of the heart and the vision of the eyes.
The first five are exclusively about belief in God, and we can understand conceptually why they are constant and also how, via being mindfully attached to God, there can be some form of protection and providence. Indeed, the Rambam in the Moreh Nevuchim (III:51) describes in beautiful detail the process of attachment to God through continuous awareness and meditation and how that brings about supernatural guidance, protection and insight.
However, the sixth mitzvah seems to have nothing to do with the first five. The super simple peshat is, nu? Who says it has to? It is part of the six because it is a continuous mitzvah, but no more significantly connected to the other five than that. This is a possible explanation, but one might wonder, “Still, these are only six out of 613 mitzvos which are to be observed constantly; it follows that there should be some conceptual unifying principle linking them.” Therefore, we can offer another simple answer. The actual verse that is the source for this mitzvah is from the Shema, found in Bamidbar (15:39):
“That shall be your fringe; look at it and recall all the commandments of God and observe them, so that you do not follow your heart and eyes that you stray after.”
The overall context of that section is the acceptance and recognition of the commandments. While classically this verse is understood as a prohibition against lustful thoughts, the simple reading may very well be a directive not to allow heretical thoughts to confuse and disrupt faith. The Ramban (ibid), quoting the Sifre, interprets the verse as referring to both heretical thoughts and sexual thoughts. If so, the sixth mitzvah also is one of remaining in contact with God.
Additionally, God is described as particularly despising sexual immorality (Sanhedrin 106a). We must reflect on this description. God is not vulnerable nor fickle, and He does not actually experience emotions of disgust, or any emotions as they imply materiality and limitations. Only physical entities are subject to influence and therefore weakness and entropy. This can never be applied to God (see Rambam Yesode HaTorah ch. 1). To use this particular anthropomorphic term implies not the emotion of disgust, but rather a hint at the process. Just as something that a human finds disgusting is something they need to be far away from, this gives us an understanding that exual immorality is particularly distancing from God. It’s not a God thing; it’s a human thing. This sin, unlike others, does something that hollows out the soul, and therefore it is specifically tied into the other five mitzvos, which are about cultivating an awareness of God. Not managing lust leads to a loss of ability to be in contact and aware of God.
Why might this be so? The instinctive sexual drive is clearly about life itself. It brings tremendous energy and power to a person and ultimately is the source of creation of life. If this precious commodity is not respected and managed, it will inevitably lead to a loss of this godly, creative force. Why is it that there is nothing so exciting as fresh, new feelings of love and connection, and nothing so cheap and empty if the experience is not maintained either through a continuous, deep connection or a frenetic, manic running from one relationship to another? Deep down, we know there is life inside this. And that life comes from God’s presence.
Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation 
If you liked this, you might enjoy my Relationship Communications Guide. Click on the link above.
Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com