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Our Gemara on amud aleph quotes a series of verses in Mishle (6:1-3) that warn of the dangers of becoming a co-signer on a loan indiscriminately:
בְּ֭נִי אִם־עָרַ֣בְתָּ לְרֵעֶ֑ךָ תָּקַ֖עְתָּ לַזָּ֣ר כַּפֶּֽיךָ׃
My son, if you have become a co-signer for your fellow,
Given your hand for another,
נוֹקַ֥שְׁתָּ בְאִמְרֵי־פִ֑יךָ נִ֝לְכַּ֗דְתָּ בְּאִמְרֵי־פִֽיךָ׃
You have been trapped by the words of your mouth,
Snared by the words of your mouth.
עֲשֵׂ֨ה זֹ֥את אֵפ֪וֹא ׀ בְּנִ֡י וְֽהִנָּצֵ֗ל כִּ֘י בָ֤אתָ בְכַף־רֵעֶ֑ךָ לֵ֥ךְ הִ֝תְרַפֵּ֗ס וּרְהַ֥ב רֵעֶֽיךָ׃
Do this, then, my son, to extricate yourself,
For you have come into the power of your fellow:
Go grovel—and badger your fellow;
Interestingly, the Gemara Yoma (87a) also learns this same verse as referring to the “debts” and damages one incurs when verbally hurting another person:
אָמַר רַבִּי יִצְחָק: כׇּל הַמַּקְנִיט אֶת חֲבֵירוֹ, אֲפִילּוּ בִּדְבָרִים — צָרִיךְ לְפַיְּיסוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״בְּנִי אִם עָרַבְתָּ לְרֵעֶךָ תָּקַעְתָּ לַזָּר כַּפֶּיךָ נוֹקַשְׁתָּ בְאִמְרֵי פִיךָ עֲשֵׂה זֹאת אֵפוֹא בְּנִי וְהִנָּצֵל כִּי בָאתָ בְכַף רֵעֶךָ לֵךְ הִתְרַפֵּס וּרְהַב רֵעֶיךָ״. אִם מָמוֹן יֵשׁ בְּיָדְךָ — הַתֵּר לוֹ פִּסַּת יָד, וְאִם לָאו — הַרְבֵּה עָלָיו רֵיעִים.
Rabbi Yitzḥak said: One who angers his friend, even only verbally, must appease him, as it is stated: “My son, if you have become a guarantor for your neighbor, if you have struck your hands for a stranger, you are snared by the words of your mouth… Do this now, my son, and deliver yourself, seeing you have come into the hand of your neighbor. Go, humble yourself [hitrapes] and urge [rehav] your neighbor” (Proverbs 6:1–3). This should be understood as follows: If you have money that you owe him, open the palm of [hater pisat] your hand to your neighbor and pay the money that you owe; and if not, if you have sinned against him verbally, increase [harbe] friends for him, i.e., send many people as your messengers to ask him for forgiveness.
Ben Yehoyada (Yoma Ibid) asks why does the verse seem to equate verbal abuse to being stuck cosigning on a bad loan? He answers, you might be tempted to minimize the liability of hurtful speech, claiming it is only words. To this, Solomon responds in Mishle: At times, the greatest financial liabilities can be incurred via mere words, such as when a person agrees to be a cosigner, without any additional action or kinyan (see Bava Basra 173b). Therefore, we should not be surprised regarding the power of speech and the responsibility we have to repay emotional debts we bring upon ourselves.
Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation
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